Secret love, are you there?
by Lizsername
Summary: Violet Orton was born with WWE blood. She became one of the most highly rated WWE Divas... until her crash. She is met with the boy who led her down that road, Dean Ambrose, when she became The Shield Diva. What happens throughout her road to recovery and becoming a Diva again?
1. Prologue

_Prologue _

"_I'm bruised and scarred, save me from this broken heart…" (Bruised and Scarred; Mayday Parade)_

_Dear Jon, _

_I guess I want to do this to vent. From what. From what am I upset about with you. You're gone though. But there is something about you… That makes me come back. _

"Violet Orton shows what she is made of!" A commentary yells on the TV set. I was always jumpy before I went into the ring. I usually wore a band t-shirt I made into a crop top and a bright colored skinny jeans. I looked like the typically "scene kid" you could call me with my pastel purple hair. When I was in the ring though, I knew how to kick…

Maybe I learned it from the best.

Being an Orton means you can success in wrestling. When I was younger, I would sit in front of the TV set with my family, watching my father wrestle. It could be for titles or just for a storyline. There was always a smile across my face when the women wrestlers were on. Whenever my dad came home for a day or two, I would tell him how I would be one of them. He laughed it off; he just thought it was a stupid dream.

When I went into high school, I saw signs for different sports. The one that stuck out was there was a wrestling team. The first day of practice I walked in. Whistles and comments were said. I told the coach my name. Orton rolled off my tongue, and his head picked up. I was on the team.

When I was 18, I began taking classes. I trained and trained and trained. I did my best and hardest. Finally I made it onto WWE at 20. Around the same time, Randy Orton was becoming a household name. That wasn't until now.

_Everyone says to live and forget about you. But there's a part of me… that doesn't. You ruined me, Jon. You ruined how I acted. How I see myself. Everything about me is ruined. But yet, if you opened your arms again, I would just run back in. _

I fell in love with a young, indy wrestler. His stage name at the time was Jon Moxley. On stage, he was one fucked up kid. When it was just me and him, it was just nothing but sweet words… or it seemed like that. When Jon changed his name to Dean Ambrose, it changed our relationship. We broke up… or so I like to tell people.

To me, Jon Good was part of my life I couldn't get rid of. Randy used to love. They would practice with each other. Randy _wanted _him on WWE. He couldn't stop loving him. Jon was signed to FCW under Dean Ambrose. Everything changed.

_I could never tell you how much you changed me. But the day you walked out, my life was gone. _

While I was dating Jon Good, I fell into bad habits. I was drinking everyday and heavy on any drugs I could find. This got worst once I broke off with Jon. Randy one day found me, overdosed on painkillers. I was rushed to the hospital and placed into rehab for a couple months. I disappear from WWE for a long ass time.

Once I got out of rehab, I fell into depression. I couldn't be left alone at night. Randy was around me too much, even losing time with his own family. I ended up living with him in the long run. When I attempted suicide a couple months later, I had to be checked in again to a hospital.

_My life got fucked because of you, Jon. But if you told me you missed me… I would run back right to you. _

_-Violet Orton. _

**A/n: Hey guys! I'm pretty new to WWE fandom and discovered all the fanfiction and everything so bare with me! But I came up with this idea and thought you guys might enjoy. Chapter one will be up soon. **

**By the way, the title is a song lyric from Mayday Parade's Anywhere But Here (I use a lot of song lyrics/quotes to title my chapters and everything.)**

**And of course I don't own anything but Violet Orton :) Review and like or whatever you do here... It's been a while since I used this site lol. **


	2. Chapter one

_Chapter one_

"_Honestly, I don't think I ever mattered to you."_

I was on the set of WWE's NXT. While getting myself back into shape, I was training the divas here. One of my favorites to work with was Paige. I taught her most of my style, and she always wrestle like that. It made me smile, watching these girls work hard in the ring.

Being on NXT though made me more depressed then it should. It was WWE's "punishment" because of my overdoses and unexpected end to Violet Orton's long run. At that time of WWE, I was one of the best Divas in that ring. I always felt that I and Natayla ran that yard. Once my break up with Jon Moxley happened, everyone saw a different Violet.

It was the Violet who struggle to find enjoyment in anything. As if I was back in the beginning, where I struggle to wrestle because no one believed in me. I got skinner from the drugs and normally missed shows. Finally, WWE had to send me home. They wanted me to get in better shape and to come back. That was when I overdosed and was sent away.

Now, WWE questioned on bringing me back. Is she ready enough? Is she _stable _enough?

It was as if I could just write the conversations down for a screenplay. Were they ever going to bring me back? That I didn't really know of. I begged. That's why I am here, at NXT.

As I was sitting down, letting these thoughts take over and not paying attention to the NXT divas, Jane tapped my shoulder. She was part of the creative team and helped us run everything. I smiled to her and shook her hand. "Would you mind coming into another room here?" I nodded and followed her.

As I closed the door, she already had a seat. "Violet," she said with a smile. "We're bringing you back to WWE Divas Division." My mouth opened wide. I wanted to just jump into Jane's arms right now and thank her. I could tell there was more to be said. "You have seen The Shield I'm pretty sure. They were on NXT for a while."

The Shield was one of the most popular groups of WWE main roster. It was made of by former NXT's champion, Seth Rollins. The others were Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose. The same Dean Ambrose who used to be Jon Moxley… my ex boyfriend. They were powerful to the other Superstars. "Yeah, I know about them."

"Well, we wanted to add a Diva to the mix. This Diva will be you, Violet." My head duck down, hearing the next words. "You will not be back to wrestling for a while, Violet, if that is what you were thinking. We are bringing you in the mix due to the rivalry between The Shield and Randy Orton."

"So, what you are saying," I look at her, "I just fuck around with Randy's 'voices' and be walking down those steps with The Shield."

Jane nodded. "Probably further along the lines you will become one of their 'girlfriends' which if were to happen, it would be Dean Ambrose or Jon Good. Are you fine with this?" I nodded. "Pack your bags for the road, Violet. You'll be on next RAW before Wrestlemania. Oh, and you'll be back on Wrestlemania."

!

I step into the arena, finding the locker room for the Divas. Jane was nice enough to drop my other stuff in the car for me and The Shield. I would be traveling with them… traveling with Dean Ambrose. The first ones to great me was one of my best friends, Nattie. She pulled me straight into a hug.

"Welcome back," she whispers. I was greeted then by AJ and Kaitlyn. We ended up all talking.

AJ smiles up. "What brings the Viper's sister here?"

I laughed, "The Shield's Diva." Their face went in shock. Most of the Divas Division knows about me and Dean Ambrose. What he did…What we did… Practically everything that was me and Jon's relationship was out there. "Trust me, I'm not excited to see Dean."

"He's clean now," Kaitlyn said. I nodded. "At least know that."

"Most importantly," Nattie looks to me. "Does Randy know you're back?"

"I'm keeping it a surprise until rehearsals." I shush them to not tell him. I went to find my old stylist. She already had me prep with a Shield shirt into a crop top and black jeans shredded. "I love it!"

"Thought you would, love. It reminds me of what you used to wear. Of course, black out now…" She smiles. "Now go get ready. You have to practice, but wear the black wedges and tell me if you can walk down those steps in those."

I threw them on and saw Seth's head pick out. "Hey, Violet." I walked out there, and he pulls me into a hug. "It's great to see your face around here. Come on, follow me. Roman and Dean are already there."

We walked up steps and steps to get where Dean and Roman were. My heart stop, seeing Jon Good. He gave me a shy smile. "Hi, Violet." I nodded to him. Roman gave me his usual bear hug. It brought me comfort.

We were cued to walk down. I stood back. The Shield went over their lines. Dean spoke up, "Oh and Randy, we have a little surprise for you." I walk down the steps, near Dean.

"Wait!" Randy screams out. "This wasn't in the script!" All The Shield members laughed, even Big Show and Sheamus were cracking up. "Did everyone know, but me! Get your ass down here, Violet."

"I don't think I can in these wedges!" He ran up the steps. He threw me in a huge hug. "I miss you so much. We must catch up after RAW and everything."

I was walking back to the locker room when someone touched my shoulder. It was Dean. I stood there in shock. "I'm not going to do anything to you." He raises his hands in defense. "Do you still smoke?"

Another habit Dean Ambrose got me into… Smoking. I tried so hard to even break it in the hospital. I don't smoke as much as I used to. I nodded to him. He motions me to come outside with him. "I don't have any of my shit."

"I'll give you one." I followed him. We went outside. He hand me a cigarette. When I put it in-between my fingers, he lit it up for me. I took a breathe in. "How have you been, Orton?"

"Better then I was before…" I took a buff. "How about you, Good?"

He shrugs, "Probably better then the last time you saw me." I gave a shy smile. "Hey, Violet." I look up, "I'm sorry."

**A/N: Well hi, I was going to upload this last night, but I fell asleep. For the next few chapters, you will see a lot of flashbacks to give a look about their relationship. **

**Also I am home sick which means I may upload another chapter or two, or not... Because tonight is RAW. **

**Review/Favorite/Follow... All that fun stuff!**


	3. Chapter two

_Chapter Two _

"_It's such a shame that we play stranger. No one to change what we became. Damn it's such a shame that we built a wreak out of me. Oh calamity, come back to me." (All Time Low; Oh Calamity!)_

_Crissy Rivera was a girl I met one day. She told me how she was an Indy wrestler, and that she was inspired by me. I gave her a shy smile and told her I'll watch one day. Today was the day. I met her before the show, hanging out with a guy. She told me it was her friend. His wrestling name was Jon Moxley. I couldn't stop smiling at him. _

"_Violet Orton?" His open went a tad bit open. He shook my hand. "This is a shock, seeing a WWE Diva here." _

_I shrug, "I like Indy wrestling. It's actually fun to watch."_

"_Well, I'm starstruck." He smiles. "I think you are a great Diva that WWE has right now." I thanked him and went into the crowd to watch wrestling._

_When it was over, I met Crissy again to tell her how she did. "You know, if I could, I would try to get you on WWE right now." _

"_I won't take it. I love this place so much." She smiles, "You bring such great style to WWE. I couldn't compete with that." She saw me staring at Jon. "You know he's single, right? Looking for a girl to settle with at least…" _

_I saw Jon again. I slipped him my phone number and walked back to my car. That was my first time seeing Jon Good. _

"Now's not the time, Jon." I took another buff from my smoke and threw it down. "I'm sorry, Jon. We can talk another time, not at work."

He nods, "Understandable. I want to just clear the air, Violet."

"I guess it would be good since we will be together a lot." I walk back to the venue. I got catering and ran into my brother. He smiles to me and motions me to eat with him. "How have you been, Randy?"

"Great, to be honest, not loving my role in WWE…" He shrugs, "I shouldn't complain though, right? I can at least make it in the business." I nodded rapidly. "Sorry, Violet if I offended you. Hey, how was it training with NXT?"

I pick my head up. "It was fun! There are some new girls coming in for Wrestlemania. Apparently they want to be on Total Divas." I moaned. "They want me on Total Divas, too."

Randy stop me, "Hey, stop complaining. They could have not brought you back at all." I signed. "Come on, it would be cool on Total Divas. Let's focus on another thing though. How do you feel being The Shield's girl right now…? With Jon mainly."

"Honestly?" He said yes. "Uncomfortable, Colby and Joe I don't mind at all; I love those guys. It's Jon Good." I didn't want to mention about our smoking talk before. Randy didn't need to know at all. "I want to be back in the ring, beating some girl's head on the post. I miss feeling that power of being on my own. I don't understand why The Shield even needs a Diva. I rather be back in training right now."

Randy got up and threw away his plate. He then turns back to me. "Just be happy, or at least try to be, Violet. You're back! Everyone wanted you back! People actually are excited to see you!" I walk down the hallway with him. "Just try to be happy, for me?" I nodded. "Good, I'll see you around."

Before I went on RAW, I talked with a bunch of people as I kept walking around. Randy was right, I guess. Everyone wanted to see Violet again. I also talk to Stephanie, Vince and Triple H or Hunter for a while about my role and how NXT went. Finally, it was show time.

I got changed into my outfit. My stylist looked at me. "Your scars still show. All those stretch marks…." When I had to gain all my weight from being too skinny, I gained a lot of stretch marks. On top of that, all my old scars from wrestling and my self harm history were showing. New scars were even there from self harm. It was a struggle I dealt with my whole life. I am clean for 6 months, but that doesn't mean scars don't show.

I looked down. "Well that just means more work for the make up artist."

"WWE wants you to wear these." She threw me a pair of gloves. I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Come on, they will look cute! You are the Shield's Diva."

I grab my bag and walked over to her. She grabs me in a hug, telling me how much she missed me. "So what's up for today?"

"I want you eyes dark, smoky eyes!" I smiled. "Then we'll add a light colored gloss." While we were doing my face make up, I asked her about the scars. "Don't worry, I was already informed." After my face was done, we worked on the scars around my hips and stomach. She also covered the ones covering my arm. I smiled, wishing it would last forever.

The Shield walked by. "Someone looks stunning," Seth said. I chuckled and blushed.

"My hair's not done." I felt my hair stylist doing a braid. "Well, now it is." She added my infamous bandanna to my forehead. "I stood, staring in the mirror. I threw on the gloves which turned out to be fingerless. "Wow, I officially look like I'm part of The Shield. You guys know how to work your magic!"

"Perfect," I heard someone whisper. It turns out to be Dean Ambrose. I blushed. "Alright, let's start going." He looks down at my feet. "Will… you be able to walk in those?" I nodded. "Well I'll be by your side in case you fall or something. Don't need you hurt when you just got back."

!

The match was finished as I heard Big Show's theme music. Quickly it was cut to The Shield's music. I heard Dean, Seth, and Roman recite their lines. When Roman finished his last line, Dean spoke up, "Oh and Randy, we have a little surprise for you."

I walked out and started to walk down the steps by Roman. The crowd went crazy, like intense. I stood silent for a second, listening to the chants of my name. _Violet, Violet, Violet… _I smiled, and then I took the mic from Roman. I wasn't supposed to speak, but I felt the crowd needed something from Violet Orton.

"Did you miss me, big brother?" I smirked. "I mean, I will admit… I didn't miss you at all. I didn't miss being with you as a mixed tag team, and I didn't miss only being called 'The Viper's sister.' So… I found The Shield, where I actually fit in. For once," I let the crowd cheer. "I'm not under my brother's wing. I am on my own. Good luck, Randy, at Wrestlemania. I'll be there… Just not on your side." The Shield music played, and we left.

We went back down near the locker rooms. "Violet!" Seth tapped my shoulder, "Dude, you weren't even supposed to speak, and it sounded amazing."

Randy passed us and gave me a hug. "You did great, little sis." He kisses my forehead. "You're going to do great coming back."

I met back with the Divas. Nattie hugged me and so did the Bellas. "You did huge out there." Brie told me. "I think WWE should just put you in wrestling now. Did you hear that crowd?!"

"I had to stop myself from tearing up," I smiled. "I was like about to not speak. It was amazing."

It was near the end of RAW. I went into the locker room and collected my stuff. I took a smoke break for a second before taking off my gear. I switched into sweats and an All Time Low t-shirt. I took out my tight braid and put it in a lose ponytail. I grab my stuff and left to find one member of The Shield.

In the end, I found Joe walking around. He led me to Jon and Colby. We went in the car and headed towards our hotel rooms the night. We got there to find Jane there. She smiled and hugged me. "You look gorgeous and great out there! We know we told you to say nothing, but what you said was brilliant. You'll be rooming with Jon Good tonight. No problems?" I gave her a fake smile and a nod. "Good, see you bright and early!"

The inside of me was dying. There was the part me jumping with joy to spend time with him again. There were too many emotions right now. I went up to my room to see there was two beds. _Well at least that is good. _Jon was outside on the balcony, smoking. Seeing him gave me the urge.

I took my pack and lighter and joined him. He gave me a smile. "I'm guessing you can break every habit but smoking." He chuckles. "You don't drink anymore either I've heard."

"A glass of wine here and there," I shrug, lighting up my cancer stick. "I just don't get drunk."

Jon nodded, "So what you're saying is you're done overdosing and all that shit." I nodded. "I like to hear that Violet." I didn't want to say anything, or really I couldn't find words. We both finished up our cigarettes. "Hey Violet, can we talk, or is it still…"

"I guess, can we go inside?" We both walk in. I sat on my bed. Dean sat right across from me. "So you're sorry. Fine. I guess I should accept it and move on, but I can't."

"Violet, I'm still in love with you."

**A/N: I just had an urge to keep writing and well… This chapter came out! I am completely writer out for today. But I wanted to put this up before RAW cause I'll be running downstairs in a few minute. Love these nights**

**Anyway I hope you guys enjoy! Tell me what you think and what should happen and all that fun stuff! Thanks for all the follows and favorites so far! **


	4. Chapter three

Chapter three

"_You're probably thinking I've forgotten all about you by now, but that's far from it. I missed you ever waking day and my heart still hurts, but I'm getting better." _

_It was the night after a live show. I went back to my room, grab a couple items, and went in for a shower. I got out, wiped off the leftover make up, and tied my wet purple hair in a messy bun. I put on one of the WWE live shirts and loose jeans. Once I was collecting my stuff from the locker room, my phone rang._

_The number was unknown. I picked it up anyway. "Hello," I said, picking up my gear bag. _

"_Violet, it's Moxley." My heart skipped a beat. It's been a week since I last saw him. This was the first time he called me. "I've been so busy with wrestling and everything, but I want to give you a call. Are you free at all, or did I call at a bad time?"_

"_Um," I tried to find the words to say. "I'm leaving the venue now. So, can I call you back once I get settle in my hotel?" He said yes. "Alright, call you back in a few." _

_I talked to a few people, waiting for the conversations to end. I just wanted to get back to this phone call with Jon. I finally got to my car and was back to the hotel. I collapsed on the bed and called Jon. _

_It only took one ring until I was connected to him. He said his hello. I smiled, "Bare with me. I just got back from the show." _

_He laughed. My heart was fluttering from it. "It's fine. Was it a good show?" _

"_I guess. It was a mixed tag team match, and of course it was me and my brother." Jon mumbled an 'of course'. I chuckled. "We won." _

"_I'm not a huge fan of Randy, but I really love your style in the ring." I thanked him. "So, I might be off next week. They want me to get hurt or something and take two weeks off. Do you think you would have a show around Ohio?" _

"_I think we have one in Ohio." _

"_Do you mind if I pay a visit?" I smiled inside. I gave him the information to inform WWE that he's a friend of mine. "I don't know, maybe I could take you out on a date before or after even." _

_I smiled even brighter. "Yeah, I love that, Jon. Your real name is Jon, right?" _

"_Jon Good," he paused for a second. "I love to get to know you more, Violet." _

"_Yeah, me too, Jon," I yawned. _

_He laughed. "You need sleep, Violet. You can call or text me later." I moaned. "Just text me, I'm going to the bar anyway with a couple wrestlers." I signed. "Night, Violet." _

I stood up in silence. "Don't you even fucking go there."

Jon sat up. "I'm sorry I tell the truth, Violet. You know I'm blunt. I look at you, and there it is, that spark. Don't you dare lie to me and tell me you don't feel the same. I'm good at reading feelings, and you damn well know that, Orton."

Jon picked up a lot of habits from his past. He can tell when you lie and are quick to read feelings. He's quick on his feet. He has an attitude and get easily upset. He learned growing up practically being on his own. I always felt bad when he told me the stories. Right now, I can't think of that.

"Maybe I do, Jon." I stare at him. "But I can't say that."

"Why not?"

I stood silence. His words were hitting me hard. I ran my fingers through loose strands of hair. "I don't want to believe my feelings. You know, sometimes feelings can lie to you. I might be in love with you; I might just think you're the same guy who got up and left me!"

Jon stood up and looked at me. "You know that wasn't my fault. You caused that."

"I caused that? For you to just walk out as if it was just another one night stand?" He look down, "What is your answer to that, Jon?"

"I ran from one of my fears which it was losing you. In the end, I did." My view started getting watery, and I couldn't take it.

"I don't fucking believe you." I walked right out, texting Randy to get me.

_Why that's?_ He texted back.

_They roomed me with Jon Good._

After a couple minutes, he came to my side. "Hey, hey, hey," he noticed me crying. "What the hell did he do to you? I'm not afraid to fucking kill him after what he did to you before."

"It was nothing," I lied. "I just can't stand to be around him. The last thing I wanted Jane to do is make me work with The Shield. Colby and Joe are great people, but I won't ever get over Jon…"

"Well, Violet, you gotta battle out. It might just be anxiety." He kisses my forehead, pulling me in a hug. "You will make it through, I promise. Just stay for the night and if worst comes worst, I do have a room open. Hey, you're strong. You're an Orton; you gotta be strong." I smiled at that sentence. He kisses my forehead again and wishes me goodnight. I walk back into the room to see Jon under the covers.

I went into the bathroom and washed off the remains of my make up. I went back to my bed. I hid under the covers and fell asleep.

!

I woke up to a text message from Brie. She said her and a couple divas want to treat me to breakfast and a shopping trip. I smiled, answering yes. I got up, seeing Jon was already outside, smoking. I took my pack and went outside with him.

Once the screen door opened, he looked up. "Morning, Violet," I smiled to him. I took out one of my cancer sticks and realized my lighter isn't working. I cursed under my breathe as Jon watched me struggle. He passed me his lighter. I stared at it. "Violet, it's a fresh one, and I can always get another one. It's not like I'm back to my Indy days."

I took it from his hands. "Thanks," I mumbled out.

"Violet?" I looked up. "I'm sorry about yesterday." I mumbled out a fine. "I want to treat you out. I don't want to hurt you or anything, Violet. If we have time later maybe…"

"Maybe, not today," I looked down. "I'm not trying to avoid you, Good." I took another breath in. "I'm just going out with some of the Divas."

He nodded, "Understandable. Well, maybe lunch?"

"I'll say yes." I look at him. He smiles brightly. "I'll like to be friends again, Jon, so get rid of that loving feeling. I felt we rushed into things when we dated. I really didn't get to know you."

"Me too, Orton. Have fun with the Divas."

**A/N: Well hi guys, thanks for all the favorites/follows. Not much reviews. Would love to see that to see what you guys think :) **

**So do all that. :) **


	5. Chapter four

Chapter four

"_You take my hand, you lead me to dance. A Cinderella love story ends with a kiss Lights go out and its last call. Maybe next time I'll look before I fall." (Automatic Loveletter; Heart Song)  
_

_I got into my hotel in Ohio. I was alone this time. I texted Jon, telling him I may have time before the show. Jon told me he would be there soon. I put on my black dress, did my make up, and curled my hair in the matter of a half hour. I threw on my wedges and hoped for the best. A knock came to my hotel door after another half hour. _

_I opened the door to see it was Jon. He wore a white v-neck and jeans. He smiled up to me. He gave me a hello and hug. "Wow, you look stunning," he said. "You didn't need to dress up for me." _

"_Well, if this is a date…" He nods. I walk by his side and walk downstairs. I caught none of the WWE stars. A few fans came up to me, and I took photos. Jon even offered to take photos for them. _

_He took me to his car. "Someone's bit popularity." _

_I brushed my bangs out of my face. I smiled again. "Yeah, well when you are popular in the Divas Division and main roster at this point…" _

"_You were born main roster." _

_I gave him a look. "Are you just saying that cause of my family?" _

_He shook his head. "Well, I mean that's a perk. You trained your whole life practically." _

"_Yeah, I guess," we stopped at a little place. Once we order our food and drinks, I told him more about my wrestling history. "I guess people think I had it easy when I didn't. My father didn't really believe in me. He thought I was faking it out. My mother told me to think about a family. Once I was in high school, they believed me more. I then went to camps and everything, but I still had the struggle. Now I'm here." I chuckled, "How about you?" _

_He shrugged, "I grew up in a rough family and found wrestling as my outlet. So I tried to get into a certain camp, and I couldn't since I wasn't even 18 yet. I keep going to the school though after the one owner left to just be there. When I got into training, I was doing well. I've traveled everywhere and almost had shots at WWE. At this point," he takes a sip of his water, "I don't think they are looking at me." _

_I took a piece of bread from the basket and took small bites. "Lately, it's been unless you are in developmental or family blood, you are in."_

"_I'm neither," he chuckles. _

_We keep talking about wrestling mainly. Jon would talk a little about home life and his struggles. It was more on our careers though. Once we finished eating, I had to go back to rehearsals. Jon walked me back to the hotel room and even drove me to the venue. _

"_I guess I'll meet you after the show?" I nodded. "Miss. Orton, may I do one thing?" I nodded again. He leaned in and met my lips. I took no effort to kiss back. I let go. _

_I smiled. "I'm only doing it because of work. Um, I'll…" I rushed my hand through my hair. _

"_Go," he mouthed. I got out of the car to find Nattie walking into the venue. I caught up with her. _

"_So, who was that?" _

"_Oh, no one." _

Once I was ready and finished, I met Brie downstairs with Nikki and Nattie. "I missed these days so much." I smiled to all of them. "Really, guys."

Brie nodded her head. "I mean, it's been so long, like we've seen you around NXT. "

"But that's nothing compared to going on tour with you again," Nikki said. We finally got to the place. I got in a booth with Nattie.

When I'm with these girls, I know everything was safe. I was gossip with them about everything and anything. They were my lifesavers at point. When I was put in the hospital, I remember always getting flowers from the Bella's. Nattie always came.

"So," Nattie spoke, cutting into her waffle. "May I ask about Jon?" Everything about me and Jon was to Nattie. She was the first one who knew about him and the first to know the break up. She was my to go girl when he broke up. Even when I had the addiction problems, she always was there for me.

I took a sip of my coffee. "I don't know. He seems harmless."

"You're kidding me," Nikki said. "He left you, Violet. We had to pick up the pieces."

"Nikki's right," Brie said.

Nattie lift her hand. "I should know it first hand! You remember me and Randy coming to your place, helping you out. He left you, Violet Orton, get that straight into your head."

"I'm guessing you guys are right, but I just want to get to know him. Our relationship was drugs, booze, sex, and wrestling. I'm going out to lunch with him."

"I mean," Brie looks at her sister and Nattie. "I'm—_we're _worried."

"And trust me, you guys are allowed to be!"

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Just be careful. I know Jon is sober with drugs, thank god. You never know though."

"He also confessed he loves me."

!

The girls ended up ditching me. I shrugged it off and went back to my room. Jon was there. "Hey, Violet," he looks to me. "How was breakfast? Thought you were shopping afterwards?"

"Long story?" I shrugged it off again.

Jon smiles, "I'll take that. Hey, do you want to go to the gym with me and train?" I look down. "I'm being harmless, Violet. We can train then grab lunch. Colby and Joe went to train already, so I have no training friend." He gave me a fake frown.

"Alright," I signed. "Let me get change and pack some things." I grab my gym bag and threw my phone and water bottle in there. I took out my NXT live shirt and yoga pants to change into. While in the bathroom, I tied my hair to the side.

I came out. Jon was wearing a sleeveless black shirt and shorts. I grab my bag and followed him out the door. We went to the hotel's gym since we still had Smackdown to do tonight. I didn't want an intense workout.

After a couple workouts, Jon spoke up. "So if there's a chance today…" He gets up to grab our water bottles, "Do you want me to train you in the ring?"

"Wow, I don't remember the last time I heard someone tell me that. I mean, let's do it!" I jump out, ready to fight Dean Ambrose.

We went down the area. If you got there earlier enough, you were allowed to do in-ring training. It was recommended to the newbies. We walked in into Jane. She smiled to me. "You two been training together?" I nodded. "Good, they were starting this Dean/Violet storyline to a good start?" I bit my lip, and Jon looked down.

"Um, yeah, is it fine if Jon trains in me in the ring?" Jane's eyes opened wide. "Come on, at least basics. No one's even in the ring right now."

"If you are trying to prove WWE something, Violet," Jane said, "it's not working."

"She'll show you," Jon spoke up. "Violet was one of your best wrestlers, and now because of mistakes, you guys honestly treat her like shit."

"Fine, train her. I want to see good stuff out of her." Jane glared me down. "By the way, Jon, I would watch what you say around here. We're not one of your Indy wrestling companies. We are WWE."

We walked in silence. I just keep rushing my hand through loose strands, feeling my heart beating rapidly. Finally, I wanted to speak up to Jon. Once we got towards the ring, I pushed his shoulder lightly. "Don't defend me. I'm fine without you. I've been for the past couple of years."

"You can't just sit around and let them treat you like shit. You were one of the best, Violet!" The way he talked remind me of the over protective Jon Good I dated. The one who said I shouldn't just settle for mixed tag teams... The one who told me who would fight any guy who even looked at me…

I rushed my fingers through my hair again. It was just a bad habit I did when I felt anxiety. "I rather not train with you acting this way." I walked away from the scene. I felt someone's hand come to my side.

I turn to see it was Brie. "Let me take you out for lunch. You don't need Jon Good."

I shrugged off her hand. "I wanna train if anything right now."

"Hey wait," Brie looks at me. "If you really want to train, I'll train with you right now, then I guess I can do something special for you later. Come on, Violet."

I smiled to her and nodded. _You don't need Jon Good, Violet. _

**A/N: Keep reviewing if you guys can! I hate seeing no one really reviewing. :( **

**But thanks for the favorites and follows! **


	6. Chapter five

Chapter five

"_I know I wasn't perfect but I keep trying, till I forgot why I stayed. You'll be the end of me. We lost all meaning; we lost the magic. So good luck to you on your way. You'll be the end of me. You know me all too well and I can't suppress the memories. You're gone and I can tell I've lost more than you'll ever see. Don't say that its not fair that you're not the person you wanna be…" (End of Me; A Day to Remember) _

_It was after the show. I won against the Bella twins in a 2-1 match. I took a shower and got myself ready to see Jon. I caught Nattie in the hallway. "It's so not normal to see you dress up after a match. Obviously that boy from before is nothing, Orton." _

_I shrugged it off, "I'll see you tomorrow, Nattie." I grab my gear bag and went outside. I caught a car to go to my hotel. I texted Jon to meet me at the hotel._

_I got dropped off to see Jon smoking out there. I smiled to him and kissed him. "Do you wanna try it?" He whispers, "I mean it might help you calm down."_

_I shrugged off. "I've seen my brother smoke a lot, so why not?" Jon lit one up for me. I took a breath in and automatically cough. _

"_If you just keep trying it, you'll get use to it." I chuckled, keep trying. _

Brie leads me to the ring. No one was training or rehearsing. Brie and I went into the ring. I smiled brightly. "How does it feel, Violet?" She screams out.

I laughed a bit, "One of the best feelings." It was true. All the memories of throwing Brie down… hitting her head against the post… and especially putting her in a VLO… It all came back. I jumped up and down a bit. I was ready to fight.

After a while, Brie gave me simple commands to do. After doing a couple of them, I could tell Brie was in shock. She gave me harder stuff to do. I realized I never lost my touch though being in the ring. After delivering another neck breaker to Brie, I saw Jon and Jane walk by. I took a deep breathe to recover, not letting it bother me.

Brie got up and saw too. "Put me in a VLO," she whispers to me. "Do it." So I kicked her in the gut and put her in the jumping cutter, or a VLO. I drop to one knee, taking a breath. I saw Jane clapping.

Brie and I got up. Jane walks a little bit closer to us. I noticed in the background Colby and Joe talking to Jon. "Very well, Orton. I noticed you ditched Jon. Reasons?"

I didn't find words to say. I thought if I said the wrong thing, I could just lose my spot again. Why can't I flat out admit that I hate Jon for how he treated me? How I just wanted to escape…How I can't do a storyline with him because he's too in love with me… And I'm not…Why can't I just stand up for myself?

"I ran into her and Jon." Brie broke my thoughts. "I said it would be easier for me to train with her."

"Good enough," the heels of Jane clicked as she turned and walk. Once she left, Colby and Joe ran towards me and Brie.

"Fucking hell," Colby shouts. "You should be back in the ring. You don't look rusty at all. I'm so done with Jane treating you like another Diva. You ran this ring."

"You taught most of those girls in the locker room," Joe added. "Yet, you are here, trying to impress WWE."

I shrugged it off, "The price I pay I guess…" I noticed Jon walking near us.

"You did great out there, Violet." I nodded towards him. "Do you want to smoke with me?"

"Sure. Do you have a smoke I can take?" He nodded. "Alright, I'm coming then." I grabbed my jacket, knowing the weather around this time. Jon turned as I felt Brie's hand.

She opened her eyes wide. I shook off her hand. "Be careful," she growls out. I nodded.

!

Smackdown taping was done. We were on our way to New Jersey. I hop into the car after another smoke with me and Jon. I put on music and relax for the rest of the ride, knowing it would be a long drive. Suddenly, everything came to me.

_Why am I even here? They don't want me here. They don't need you. They have all these new divas to replace Violet Orton. Well, they can… Can't they? They don't need you… They can take you off again and replace you with a diva from NXT. It's that simple in a business like this. _

Panic attack. It's in simple words. The whole world is crashing on you. You freeze up. I couldn't grab my bag and just take a pill. _Time to battle through it._

_And now you have to worry about Jon Good…He loves you, Violet. _

When that thought came to me, I felt myself curl up in the van. I couldn't find a way to calm down. I felt the wet drops down my cheek. I didn't want to cry, but that was until I felt a hand on my back. The only other person sitting next to me was… Jon.

I look up. "You okay," he mouths. I shook my head. "Panic attack?" I nod. He puts his arms around me. I broke down. I felt Jon's hand move around my back. "You're fine, Violet."

"Is she okay," Colby whispers.

I felt Jon's head shake. "She'll be fine though." I felt the car stop. "I'll get your bags and walk you upstairs, okay Violet?" I nodded. He lets go for a second. I got out of the car with him. As I was standing next to Jon, I was shivering from the New Jersey weather. I packed up my sweatshirt, thinking I would be fine. Jon looks up at one point, seeing me wrapping my arms around me for warmth.

He comes over, giving me his black hoodie. "Thanks," I whispered out. He nods. I help Jon with a couple bags. After we grab our stuff, he wraps an arm around me as we walk. I was still shaky. He asked me if I was alright. "Do you remember those nights where I would get bad panic attack and could never recover?" He nodded. "It's one of those nights, Jon."

We got in our hotel room. I lie on my bed and found myself in another attack. I turn to see Jon laying there. "Jon?" I mumbled out. Once he looked up, he could tell what was going on.

He jumps right into bed next to me. I felt him rushing his hands through my hair. "I want you to do nothing but talk, Violet." I whimpered a bit. "Violet, remember when I told you to do this when we were together? Did it help you?"

"I don't know." I cried out, "I'm just scared of everything to come."

Jon put me in another hug. He kisses my forehead, and my body started to relax. Jon let go of me but keep an arm around me. "You'll be fine, Violet…"

I lay next to Jon as my mind just went blank. Nothing was racing through…. Nothing matter at this moment. I just wanted to relax….

That was until I felt a peak from Jon Good on my lips.

**A/N: Hey guys hopefully you like this. I have chapter five written already and I'll post it soon, but it might be next week. I'm going to House Party Tour tomorrow so I'm going to be beat from the concert. Hopefully I'll get it up soon because honestly, I love where it's going :) **

**Review and all that! **


	7. Chapter six

Chapter six

"_I guess I'm just down. I guess I'll be honest, I can use you around." (Melrose Diner; The Wonder Years)_

_That night, Jon came inside my hotel room. Once we enter the room, I pushed Jon roughly against the wall. He smirk, knowing what was coming next. I put my lips against his, making out. After a 10 minute session, I started to take off his black top. _

_I felt Jon led me to the bed. I lay right on top of him, keeping our lips lock. I felt him finding the zipper to my dress. Once he grasps it, he quickly took it off, revealing my bra and underwear. By the end of the night, I was on top of him completely unclothed. _

_Afterwards, I put on a big t-shirt and lay next to him. He pushes my hair back, smiling. "I've never seen someone more beautiful then you. I'm falling for you, Violet." _

"_And you're allowed to, Jon." _

I woke up. _How did I fall asleep? _I felt Jon's arm around me. I must have fallen asleep in a crying panic attack. I somehow managed my way out of Jon's arm. I noticed I never got to change. I went to my bags to find my anti anxiety medication. I took one pill, hoping for a better day.

I went outside to grab a smoke. Once I was finished, I received a text message from Colby to meet him for the gym. I smiled, getting ready. Apparently Colby wanted to try me out for CrossFit. I hoped for the best. I know it was going to be intense workout, but I wanted to work hard to get back in WWE.

I threw on my tank top and basketball shorts. I put Jon's hoodie on and met the guys downstairs. "Is Jon going," Colby said as soon as I came. I shrugged. "He can train on his own. Let's go." Joe followed along with us.

!

After doing an intense workout, I was passed out on the ground. Joe walked by me, snickering. "Out of it, Violet?"

"I mean," I smiled. "After a couple breathes, I'll be back up." We finished up. Colby took me out for breakfast, just me and him. He even treated.

I changed into my A Day to Remember tank top and skinny jeans. I keep Jon's hoodie in my hands. I walked out to meet up with Colby. He chuckle, "I gave you that top, didn't I?" I nodded. "It looks great on you."

I smiled as we order food. Once we were waiting, Colby started talking. "What happened last night?" I shrugged. I really didn't want to bring up how I'm worried about being in the business and Jon. "Just one of those panic attacks?"

When I went to the hospital for my suicide attempt, I had to be evaluated. They came up with that I have GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It simply means I worry about the little things and could have panic attacks for no reason. I had to be put on pills that were taken as needed. It was just something I struggled with. Colby knew mostly everything about me like the GAD, so it wasn't a shock he was asking.

"I hate anxiety," I said. "It ruins me."

Colby takes a sip of his coffee. "You'll just have to deal with it, right? Did you take a pill this morning?" I nod. "That's good. Hopefully last night won't linger into today. Be happy! You're going to be signing with us at Wrestlemania's Axxess."

"I'm just not happy about how everyone on the creative team wants me to be with Dean Ambrose…" I look at Colby. _Should I admit what happened the other night? _

Colby nods. "I think a lot of people are disagreeing how Jon is acting around you."

"He kissed me last night, Colby."

"I'm going to slap that motherfucker when we get back to the hotel room." I stared at my black coffee. "That's crossing the line, Violet! Why didn't you do anything?"

_Because I fucking enjoyed it! _

!

Colby fought with Jane to get my room switched. He ended up winning. I just stood in the middle of it all. When Jon left his room, we moved all my stuff from that room to Colby's. Joe even helped us out, knowing he would be Jon's new roommate. Once everything was moved, I laid out on the bed.

Colby chuckled. "Are you just going to wear that to Axxess?" I nodded. "Alrighty then, Violet." He left to go get changed in the bathroom. I played with my phone, updating my twitter. Finally, I felt the bed shift, and Colby was lying next to me.

I chuckled. He played with my hair. "Whose sweatshirt is that, by the way? I know it's not yours."

I bit my lip. "I should return it. It's Jon's…" The thing I felt comfort in it. It did make me feel at peace. I know though with Colby knowing it's Jon no one would be happy with it.

Colby helped me take it off. Colby touched my shoulder softly. "Hey, A Day to Remember sent me an extra hoodie to actually give to you. They gave me a care package before we left for Wrestlemania. Hearing you were coming back I brought it with me."

"You're awesome, Colby." He pulled it out for me, and I put it on. "Oh man, we need to go to a concert together again."

He smiles. "I'll return to this to Jon later. I won't like you around him."

"You're worst then my brother," I said. "I'm perfectly fine with returning it to him." Colby told me he still would do it. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, do you have any red carpet events tonight?" I shook my head to Colby's comment.

"Not tonight, more later on in the week."

Colby smiles. "I must be the like millionth WWE wrestler to ask you out on a date then."

"You'll be surprised." I smirked. "A lot of guys are scared of me because of Randy."

He shakes his head. "I'm not. Tonight then, at six? I'll give you time to get ready."

I nodded. Before we met with Jon and Joe, we went outside. I took out a cigarette and smoked my nerves away. Colby shook his head. "I can't quit now. I'm too addicted to nicotine."

"Now I see why wrestlers won't date you. You smoke way too much." I leaned over and blew my smoke in his face. He started gagging. "You little brat."

After that, I did a quick double check. I got my hair and make up done in less than 10 minutes. We met Joe and Jon downstairs. Jon gave me a weird look. "Um, Jane told me we switched rooms." I nodded. "Alrighty then, Violet… I guess you're that scared of being with me. Good luck with this storyline."

When he turns his back, I rolled my eyes to Colby. He chuckled, lightly pushing me. Joe chuckled at the both of us. "Everyone is going to question you guys with those matching sweatshirts." I shrug it off. "It's cute."

Once we arrived to MetLife, we had a half hour to kill before our signing. I went to see if I could find Randy. I keep searching around until I was pulled to the side. I was quickly pushed into another room. "What the hell, Violet?!" The figure turned out to be Jon Good.

"Why are you practically stalking me?" I shrieked out.

**A/N: Wrote this whole chapter just in school one day. Lol, people must think I'm crazy carrying around my notebook. **

**Still really tired from House Party Tour, which was amazing. If you didn't know, it's practically with all the bands that Seth Rollins love so… **

**Review/Favorite/Follow… More reviews please? **


	8. Chapter seven

Chapter seven

"_I am in love with the presence of your words and the feel of your existence, but I am not in love with you." _

_I woke up the next morning, realizing Jon was still here. I was in his arms, nuzzled up to his neck. These were moments I didn't want to forget. I got up though to take a shower. I put on clothing and tied up my wet hair. Once I stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Jon was up. _

_His eyes open up. "A-are you leaving already?" I nodded. "I mean, I guess I have to understand. You are a Diva…" _

_Jon helped me get my stuff together. Once everything was pack, we put it in my van. Jon gave me one last look. "I'm so sorry about this, Jon." He whispered out it was fine. "I'll call you tonight after my live show. I have to get going." _

_He leaned down and kissed me. He then put me in a hug. I couldn't find a way to let go. Eventually, I left him. _

I wanted to scream and push him down, letting him know I hate him. I wanted to run into his arms and cry, saying sorry. I wanted to push him against the wall and kiss him roughly… Like the first time we had sex. I couldn't do anything but stand there. I was struck in the moment.

"Violet," Jon made me look at him. "Why the hell are you hanging around Colby now? What the hell, you actually started believing people, haven't you?" I duck my head, holding back tears. "I changed because I wanted to have you back, and you're going out with Colby soon."

I fell to the ground, crying. I could take someone yelling at me, but there was something different about Jon. It rarely happened expect when I'm around my brother during my depression. Jon rests a hand on my shoulder. I still was crying like hell. "I can't do this. I can't be with you."

Jon bit his lip. "You could if you tried." I shook my head. "Violet, please don't do this to yourself. Don't lie to yourself. You're going to make it worse with your depression. You can't deny anymore…"

I wiped some tears and sniffed. "I want to be with Colby to fake to everyone that I am better off without you. I don't like him. I want people to realize I am fine and not thinking about you. Whenever I see you though," I look up at him, "I just want to kiss you and remember those nights. The nights where we were together…"

I rushed my hand through my hair. "I miss you so much, Jon. Being without you made me suicidal. It made my anxiety get high. I miss it when you held me and let me just ramble on about my feelings. I can't do that with Colby. I can't do that with anyone. I just want to love you again, but I can't." I broke down even more.

"Don't cry, Violet, please don't." Jon kneeled next to me. "I hate seeing you like this. It always breaks my heart…"

"I just want to try it one more time, and no one will let us, Jon." He presses his forehead against mine. "Just kiss me to make me feel better." I keep screaming the same line over, and he finally shut me up. He kissed me. I took no hesitation to do it right back.

I place my hand behind his neck. My other hand went on his shoulder. I broke off the kiss. "I can't do this…"

I storm out of the room, trying to forget what happened.

!

I went to find Colby. I saw him in the dressing room with Joe. Colby got up, noticing my eyes were red. "What happened?" I whispered out a nothing. "No, Jon did something to you. I know he did. Violet, what the fuck did he do?"

"Nothing," I lied. "He just went to grab a smoke as I tried to find Randy. I just want this stupid signing over with, okay?" Colby nodded and put me in a hug.

He kisses my forehead. "You're fucking safe with me, okay?" I heard the door open. I turn to see Jon.

He had a blank stare, seeing me and Colby. He stares down. "Um, we should start going."

I nodded. I did double check to make sure my make up wasn't that bad. _Thank God for waterproof_. Before we left, Colby took my hand. I felt something… As if my mind wanted me to say I love you right now to him. I just grip close to it as we walked. Once we were near the Superstars and Divas, our hands dropped.

Colby lean in to me at one point. "I just want to hold your hand more often now…" I faked smiled to that. _I just want a boyfriend, so I can't forget about Jon. _

We went to our table to sign. People cheered even louder when I came out. "Did you expect me?" I screamed out loud to the people on line. People cheered again. I smiled, knowing I belong in the spotlight of WWE. Maybe I would feel better about myself.

I smiled at fans signing. There were people who knew my name and explained how much they missed me in the ring. I couldn't stop smiling. It made me feel ten times better about myself.

After two hours of signing, we had to leave. I caught up to Colby. I told him we could leave straight for our date. He smiles as we hop into a rental car. He led me to a place by the Hudson River.

!

We got our meals and started talking more. "So," Colby started, "am I like the first guy you dated outside of Jon?"

I shook my head. "I dated a couple guys in NXT. I was with Corey Graves for a good 3 months." Colby's eyes opened wide. "He's a good guy actually. I just saw it as we are good friends. The sex though was amazing." That comment made Colby blushed. "I'm such a slut sometimes."

"You really are. You used to be like AJ at a point." I chuckled because I was. After breaking up with Jon, all I wanted to do was have one night stands. I usually just had them with wrestlers. Colby knew all of their names and how it was done. Whenever we had the conversations, his eyes would open wide, or he would laugh along.

I shrugged it off. "Oh well, it happens. I think I'm ready now for commitment."

"That's good, but my question is... Are you over Jon to do this?"

I paused for a second. I wasn't though. I was still seeing Jon. I was just making out with him a couple hours ago. I wasn't ready. I had to fake to everyone though… I was going to get over him. I had to do this though… to get over Jon Good. "I am, Colby."

He smiles. We pay our dinners and walk around by the Hudson River. I was holding his hand tightly. At one point, we just stopped and admired the NYC skyline. At that moment though, Colby leaned into to kiss me.

I couldn't help but kiss back. I remember though… It was nothing like my kiss from before.

**A/N: Just wanted to do another quick update. Kind of writer's block after this so don't expect a quick update. **

**Hopefully you guys will like it :) **


	9. Chapter eight

Chapter eight

"_I swear this time It won't turn out the same Cause now I've Got myself to blame…"(Three Day Grace; Someone Who Cares)_

_I came home the week after. Jon was still off. I met him at his apartment in Ohio. I knock on the door, opening it was the right one. He opened with a cigarette in his mouth. He blew a smoke and kisses me. _

_We collapsed on his couch, making out. After a while, I noticed Jon went over to grab pills. "It's actually like…" Jon smiles, "its fun to do once in a while."_

"_Do you realize if I take drugs… I risk my career." _

"_Live up, Violet." _

It was four in the morning. Yesterday was still bothering me. Jon… He made out with me, and then Colby asked me to be his girlfriend… I fell asleep for two hours while Colby drifted off. I was on top of him as his arm kept around my waist. My breathing became heavy. I was freaking out for the future if I kept this up. I slipped out of Colby's arm and walked outside.

When I got out of my room, Jon was standing in the hallway. I was struck. "W-what are you doing," I said.

He shrugged it off. "I couldn't sleep. I've just been pacing this hallway." I nod. "How was your date, Violet?"

"He took me to some fancy place near the Hudson River. He paid and everything. We kissed by the skyline…" I bit my lip, telling Jon all of the things he didn't want to hear. "I'm guessing I'm his girlfriend now."

Jon nods. "Are you happy, Violet?"

"No." I flat out answered. "I just want to be with him to make everyone else happy." We walk downstairs and ended up sitting in the lobby.

Jon grabs my hand. "You need to make yourself feel better before you can go pleasing others. You ended up sick after that, Violet. No one wants to see you collapsed as a wrestler already." I nodded. "Violet, even if we aren't together, I truly care for your health."

"Everyone does, Jon." I bit my lip.

Jon shook his head. "You're not making yourself better by faking with Colby." I nodded. "Violet, please don't do this to yourself. I can't see you overdosing or cutting again. No one wants you back in a hospital."

"I just want to prove to everyone—"

Jon shook his head. "Are you ready for that though? Are you ready for everyone to turn your back because one day you do realize… You are still in love with me." I broke down again. Jon moved over and held me.

_The scene keeps repeating… _

!

I woke up in another room. For some reason, I was in Jon and Joe's hotel room. "She passed out in the lobby," Jon yelled out.

"What the hell do you keep doing to her, Jon!" _Colby… _"Everywhere I turn she is upset, and she is with fucking you."

"So you take me to blame." There was a pause. "It's always my fault because I did one thing."

"You left her on the ground dying, Jon." Another pause of silence was in the room. "No one ever forgets that." I felt a hand on my arm. I turn and open my eyes. "Hey," he leans to kiss me. "Are you doing alright?"

I nodded. "I overheard everything…"

Colby look down. "I just want to protect you, Violet. Jon physically hurt you back then. I don't want that again. I don't want to see everyone upset over that." I went to grab his hand. I was going through an attack. "I'm sorry. I knew it would bring back flashbacks."

"I'll be fine," I lied. My chest was pounding. I tried to push it to the side. _I'll take a pill later. _ "Let's just get ready. We have a late signing, but I want to find Paige today."

Colby smiled. "Good, you need to cheer up, Violet." I got up and hug him. I open my eyes and saw Jon staring back at me.

"I'm sorry," I mouthed. I had to hold back tears. I just place my face more into Colby's chest

Jon stormed out.

!

When we got to MetLife, Colby keep holding my hand. He wanted it to be official. I smiled and kissed him. We went near the NXT backstage. Someone jumped on my back. Colby chuckled. I realized it was my favorite Diva, Paige.

I turn and gave her a hug. "I can't believe you're dating Colby!" She screams out. "I can't believe you are here!"

I chuckled. "I'm not wrestling which sucks."

"You've wrestled before in Wrestlemania, shut up," Colby chimes in. I stick a tongue at him. He smiles, searching for other wrestlers.

Once he walked away, Paige looked up at me. "So I'm guessing you are finally over Jon." I nodded, lying to her. "Hey, he's better for you. He cared about you since that day and even before. All he does is talk about you to us when he was in NXT. How pretty you are..." I blushed. Paige chuckles. "You don't have to worry about him breaking your heart."

I smiled, seeing him talk to Taylor Rotunda or Bo Dallas. "Maybe I did get lucky this time around."

"Just accept that you may be falling for a really great guy, Violet." Paige spoke up. "You need him in your life."

We said our goodbyes because I had to get ready. I went over to Colby. I wrapped my arms around his waist. I didn't feel as if I was faking. It felt... as if I was really falling for Colby

Taylor smiled. "That's cute. Good luck on Sunday, Colby."

He nods, takes my hand, and walks with me. Brie walked by us with a smile. She had Bryan or Daniel Bryan. She stops us for a second. "I was waiting for Colby to ask you as his girlfriend. He kept asking me how to do it."

Colby blushed and Bryan chuckles. "Dude, she's a keeper. Just be careful of her brother. He bites."

"He's not even signing tonight," Colby laughs. "We don't have to worry."

I smiled, "Yet at least. I think he has to worry about my father more though. Jon did." Colby nodded, not wanting to remember him.

We found Joe with his family backstage. We sat down for a while as I talked to his wife. Colby was playing with their daughter. I smiled brightly. Maybe sooner I'll realize he is good for me.

Joe laughed at Colby. "This could be your future, Orton."

"We just started dating. Let's not go there." I chuckle. _I still would rather have it with Jon. I may be falling for this guy but..._

Jon found us, telling us we had to sign. We all got up, going to our place. Colby gave me one last kiss before we went out. Jon just looks down again.

!

After another successful signing, I walked over to find some Divas. Colby left me alone to follow Joe and Jon. Nattie was with two other girls. "Oh hey wait! You're Eva Marie and JoJo." They nodded. "Yeah, I trained you guys for a while at NXT."

JoJo smiled. "I really appreciated that. I'm such a huge fan of yours."

"Same here," Eva bumped in. I just kept a smile.

I point out her red hair. She said she just did it. "It looks great. I mean looks like I'm not going to be the only one with crazy hair." She laughs. "Well its great meeting you guys. I think I'm going to grab something to eat then practice with The Shield."

I gave my goodbyes. I went to catering to grab a small meal. No one I really knew was there, so I sat by myself. I started to text Colby who was going to come soon with Jon and Joe. I ate some of my food when I saw someone sit next to me. Hoping it was Colby, it turned out to be Jane. "How are you doing, Miss. Orton?"

"Fine," I whispered out. All I wanted to do at this point is throw my water at her and tell her I don't need WWE... But it was all a lie.

Jane smiles. "That's great. So, we're going to start shooting with you in Total Divas tomorrow." I nodded, but I was rolling my eyes in the back of my head. The last thing I needed was to become a reality star. "It would be great, Violet! You and Nattie as veterans on the show!"

"I know. I'm really only doing to show that even a wrestler needs a recovery path." It was true. I was on the right path. I was starting to go out with a great guy. I was getting back into the wrestling scene. I had great family and friends to support me. Some girls need to realize that even a Diva can go through self harm and suicide. I hope that I just see that one fan who goes up to me and says that I helped them through something. I was smiling in the back of my head. _ Yeah, you're doing this reality show for a good thing. _

Jane nods. "That you are Violet, and we are happy to see that. A little rumor going around is you are seeing Colby Lopez or Seth Rollins." I nodded. "Okay, I was just wondering."

I took a sip of my water. "No, it's fine. Here he comes actually." He sits next to me and gives me a kiss.

"Now isn't that cute," I felt Jon and Joe come behind me. "We're not going to show your relationship, Violet."

"Wait, why?" Colby moves in closer to me, "I mean, I know we're starting out…"

Jane simply smiles. "We want everyone to believe that you are seeing Dean Ambrose or Jon Good." I turn to look at Jon. He was in even in shock. "You're going to the red carpet events with Jon. You will be seen with Jon. You and Colby can keep your relationship, but you need to be seen with Jon in public."

Jon shook his head. "That's disrespect on their relationship."

"It's best for business, Jonathan." She walks away.

I felt Colby's hand going up and down my shoulder. I was about to break down. Right when I was feeling something for someone else, I'm thrown back in front of Jon Good. I looked up at him for a second.

"I'm sorry..." He mumbles out.

**A/n: So I'm pissed off about The Shield losing the tag teams… you guys? At least Dean still has his title, or I would be rioting. **

**Review? **


	10. Chapter nine

Chapter nine

"_And I don't care if you're sick, I Don't Care If You're Contagious, I would kiss you even if you were dead…" (Pierce The Veil; I Don't Care If You're Contagious)_

**A/N: So I'm going to stop with the flash backs unless I feel it's really needed for the chapter. **

I pulled out my deep v neck black dress. I smiled, feeling comfortable enough to wear it. A year ago, I would have been hiding in shame. Today, I was twirling around in the dress. I chuckle to myself, being alone in the hotel room. Colby left for the gym, trying to get his mind off what happened backstage today. I threw on my heart necklace. It had a photo of me and my brother in it. It was a nice gift I got before I went to the hospital from Randy. I put on some jewelry and grabbed my gold clutch bag. It held my phone, wallet, and smokes. I did a double check. My eye shadow was black with gold eyeliner. I wrote a nude lipstick color. My hair was curled again, reaching my shoulder. I smiled to myself. "I look good," I whispered to myself. A year ago, I still would be saying I'm ugly.

I threw on black heels when I heard a knock. I yelled come in, thinking it was Jon. I really wanted this red carpet event to be done with it. It turned out to be my brother. He smiles. "Someone looks stunning."

I gave him a hug. "Thanks," I mumbled out. "Are you going tonight?" He nodded. He was in v neck with dressy pants. I smiled to him.

"So, you and Jon?" The good thing while we were talking about this was there were no cameras. Jane would have killed us on the spot. I pushed back my bangs. "What's going on?"

I look down while speaking. I couldn't make eye contact. I knew Randy was going flip out. "Jane wants everyone to believe we are in a relationship. I'm technically seeing Colby…"

Randy made a _tsk _noise. "Jane is getting fucking ridiculous. I wish she knew about your past with Jon. On another note, Colby is a great guy for you, Violet. I want to see something good out of this. Mom and Dad are waiting for that wedding date." I chuckled, remembering the conversation. I'm nearly 30 now and still looking for a guy. "I wonder if Jane would let me take you on the red carpet tonight. I have no date."

I laughed. Randy recently divorced with his wife, Sam, or else she would be with him tonight. I know Sam is supposed to come up this weekend though with my niece and Randy's daughter, Alanna. I wasn't preparing to see her. "I feel she would ring our necks."

"I'm doing it anyway. Jon can meet you there." We both got up. "Violet, you look beautiful tonight. You always were a pretty girl. I never want you to think less about yourself."

When I needed support, there always was Randy. He could be at his busy time in his life and still come home to comfort me. That's why me and Randy were close with each other more then Nathan or Becky. We were the oldest in the Orton siblings and always saw each other due to WWE. We've been through a lot, and it made us stronger. That bond I have with Randy no one could ever get involved.

Before we left, Colby walked in. He smiled to me. "I'm guessing you're ditching Jon for your brother?" I chuckled. "You look… I'm lost for words."

Randy looks down at us. "Well, you should be. She's a gorgeous girl. Congrats on choosing her, Colby."

"You-you approve?" Randy nods. Colby relaxes a bit. "Everyone keeps warning me…"

"That was with Jon I was more worried about. The guy screamed sketchy. Well, I mean… All those god damn drugs." I look down. "We should be leaving. I want to talk to Jane about this whole thing."

Colby shook his head. "She won't budge at all, Randy. She's set on making this whole Violet Orton-Dean Ambrose storyline happen."

He rolls his eyes. "She's not doing it."

"See what everyone means by overprotective," I joked to Colby. I gave him a kiss and left.

!

Again, Randy won against Jane. There was one thing. Jon still had to be with me on the show, so he was still going to the party. He would walk alone at the red carpet event. I shivered a bit. Randy wraps an arm around me. "You'll be fine. Grab a smoke; I'll find this fucking asshole."

So I went outside, smoking my cigarette. I was still shaking, under my little gold cape. I did not want the combination of Randy Orton and Jon Good again. I know every time I see those two there is a fight. I finished as I saw Randy show up. Jon lug behind him.

We took a car to the place. I was sitting at the window, praying to God my anxiety won't act up tonight. I forgot to take a pill before I even left. I couldn't stop shaking. I try to shrug off, remembering what Colby said. I should just enjoy the night. How can I do that with Jane controlling every one of my movements?

We arrived at the place. Once I stepped out of the car, I was greeted by Brie and Nikki Bella. They were there alone. "Look who came with double the guys," Nikki winked. "I won't expect to see Orton and Orton together."

I smiled. "I mean, secretly I hate him." I gave a shy hug to my brother.

Brie pulled me to the side while Nikki, Jon, and Randy talked. She gave me a glare. "You are with Colby. Why is Jon here?"

"Jane is making me and Jon date." She rolls her eyes. "I used to respect her so much."

"Even for Total Divas?" I nodded, "This is so fake. They just want you and Jon back together, and of course you're trying with Colby. I wish WWE would stop controlling you. When I and Nikki came back, we were just allowed to do anything we want."

"Whatever," I whispered out, not wanting to hear about herself again. "I'll shrug it off. I'm walking the carpet with my brother."

Brie chuckled. "Those people who think wrestling is real will be so confused." I laughed, meeting up with Randy again.

He smirks. "Jon went in already. You ready?" I nodded as we walk in. The cameras flashed, and I was in love. The team of Ortons was back. We of course did our interviews as we walked in.

"So what's going to happen after Wrestlemania between you two," one asked.

I laughed. "Whatever happens I guess I'll go back to hating my brother." I laughed as the interview ended.

The interviewer looked at us. "You can tell wrestling is fake when you two are still hanging with each other."

Randy smiles. "Can't leave this girl alone on the red carpet."

"Well, we just saw Dean Ambrose walk in, and rumors are saying he's the Orton's boyfriend." I could tell by the look of Randy's face he just wanted to punch this guy. "I mean, can you guys confirm anything?"

"No comment," I snapped. We walked into the party, meeting everyone from everyone. Everyone was in shock to see me out and about.

It was a warm welcoming feeling hearing people screaming my name. I was smiling brightly in photos. Everyone was falling in love with Violet Orton again. It made me feel better about what I've been doing.

I ended up running into Jon along the way. He wrapped an arm around me and kisses me cheek. "Get ready for the cameras," he whispers into my ear. I did as told. Jane would have loved it seeing our kiss captured by someone's Iphone.

I bit my lip, hating to put this fake relationship everywhere. For some reason, I felt a comfort. I felt as if… I was sooner or later going to accept that one day… I'll be back with Jon Good. It was a hard realization… Knowing that someone in that hotel room is waiting for me.

But I was falling in love with his lips touching mine. I didn't want to let go. Finally Jon did with a smirk. "You missed it so much."

"Oh, I would shut the fuck up before I ring your neck, Good." Randy glared the two of us down. "Violet, let's go."

I felt the strong grip of Randy, leading me back to the car. The overprotective brother was shown. I duck my head, knowing he wasn't happy with what was going on. I just grip onto my necklace tighter in the car.

"I'm sick and tired of him." Randy screams out.

I took a deep breathe. "Randy, he was doing it because he has to!" I look to him. "I'm not going to cheat on Colby. I just have to fake my life right now, Randy. You have to accept it."

"I'm not accepting it because I still have flashbacks of seeing my little sister dying from an overdose because of him."


	11. Chapter ten

Chapter ten

"_Steal a kiss in the dark Fingernails on my skin Like the teeth of a shark I'm intoxicated by the lie In the chill of your stare I am painfully lost Like a deer in the lights Of an oncoming bus For the thrill of your touch I was shamefully lust As you tell me we're nothing but trouble"(A Love Like War; All Time Low)_

I walked back up to the hotel room with Randy by my side. Colby was sitting in the lobby. I ran into his arms. He kisses my forehead. "I left right when he was kissing her. You could tell he was drunk," Randy murmured out. "It seem that way to me. I just wanted to protect her. I'll leave you guys." I give Randy one last hug. "Hey you're in good hands. Don't worry." I felt Colby wrap his arms back around me.

Colby rocked me a bit. "Did he try to hurt you at all, Violet?" I shook my head. "Are you okay?" I nodded. "Okay…" He kisses me. "Let's go upstairs."

As we were in the elevator, I was silent. All my thoughts were racing. I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. To me, even if Jon was drunk, it still was hitting me... Those sparks... I couldn't get that feeling out of my mind. His kisses always brought me back to the right happiness.

I felt Colby's thumb running against my hand. I was shook out of Jon thoughts and brought back to him. We got to our floor and walked back to our room. Colby went to lie down on our bed, wanting me next to him. "I rather take a hot bath." He nodded towards me. "Colby," he looks up, "with you." He chuckles. "I'm not taking no as an answer. I'll get some wine sent up here."

He got up and wraps his arms around me. "I'm falling in love with tonight already." I chuckled as he kisses my neck. He got the wine, and I ran the bath. I tied up my hair, so it didn't get wet.

After a while, we both hopped in. Colby poured wine into two glasses. We cling both glasses and took a sip. "Normally I don't see you drink," he says.

I put glass near the edge and cuddle next to him. "I mean, I don't get drunk. I know how to control myself." He nods, kissing my forehead. "Colby?" I look at him. "How-how did you find out about the overdose?"

He looks down a bit, just playing with my hand. He took a deep sigh. "It was going around that you dated Jon Good. He was spreading it around. I mean, at the time, I would consider us friends, you and me at least." I nodded. "So I didn't like the way he was talking about you. He then started saying stuff about you being depressed and overdosing. I pushed him down, not believing him. It started a whole fight backstage. That night, I received the call… It was your brother." I nodded my head. "If at any point, Violet—"

"Keep going," I look into his eyes, "please?"

He nods. "I get the call. It was Randy. He-he tells me you overdosed. He's telling me he wants me down there. He would talk to FCW about everything. So I packed a few things and came down to St Louis. It was maybe… a couple hours after you overdosed. Once I in the airport, I told Randy to get me. He said he won't leave your side. He told me Nattie will be picking me up.

"So she comes, alright? We're both a nervous wreak. We don't know what to expect," he takes a deep breathe. "Could you be messed up because of the overdosed? Could you just not be able to function…? There were so many thoughts running through my head. We ran down the hallways, trying to find your room. My heart was racing. Were you going to be awake? We got into your room, noticing you were asleep, or Randy told us. His hand was on yours; he couldn't look away from them. Nattie went to her hotel, telling us she couldn't stand this. I stayed that night with Randy." He looks at me. "I was terrified, Violet. When you did it again…"

"You were crowned NXT champion…" I whispered out, "I remember clearly, watching that in the hospital room. I asked the doctors nicely…I had to try not to scream The next day you visited."

_The nurses smiled brightly in my face. I was ready to slap her. I can't take being in here already. "Ms. Orton," she gives another smile. "You have a visitor." _

_I got up to see it was Colby. He held a huge smile. I ran to hug him. "Hey wait!" I look to him. "You just won NXT champion. You should be celebrating, not here with me." _

_He chuckles. "Randy came to the set to not only to give me a congrats… To tell me you were here. I told him I was coming today." We sat down on my bed. "How long are you in here?" I shrugged. "Once you're out, you have to at least see my belt. It's great, Violet. I'm the first!" _

"_I hope I'm out in time of seeing that." I started to play with my fingers. "I-I know Randy wants me in here longer." _

_Colby shook his head, "Why? WWE won't allow it." _

"_WWE is paying for me. They are letting Randy control how long..." Silence took over. "Colby, he found the cutting scars." He looks up. "I'm sorry." _

_He bit his lip. "I am never mad at you, you know that? It takes a lot. I'm mad at Jon. He caused this." I duck down. "Let's walk around, Violet."_

_After a couple hours of walking and talking about his title, we found ourselves back in the room. "You should be leaving," I whispered. "My family will be here soon and everything." _

_He tucks my hair behind my ears and kisses my forehead. "You'll be okay. Hopefully, I'll see you around… soon. If not, I'll be back. I promise." _

He smiles. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know we walked around campus a bit… I fell in love with you that day." I blushed. "I still am today, Violet."

He leans down and kisses me. "I'm starting to…" I whispered to him.

"That's all I ask, Violet..."

!

We had just finished doing another and last Axxess signing. It was time for one more practice before Wrestlemania. I got changed and met the guys outside of the grounds. I was holding Colby's hand as I met Nattie before. "Do you mind helping me out again," she whispers.

"You're stuck babysitting the newbies… Who else?"

"Adriane's boyfriend." I rolled my eyes, "I know. You can bring Colby out. It will also look good for Total Divas."

I bit my lip. "That would mean I would have to bring Jon. I'll just stick on my own." She nods. Colby tugged my arm. "I gotta go, Nattie."

She smiles. "Have fun."

We walked into the stage. Randy, Sheamus, and Big Show came out. We did our infamous entrance. Randy looks up at one point, smiling towards me. I knew he was proud. I look to the end of the ramp; Jane was there.

"I just want to make another clear note." She screams out once we got to the ring. "Ambrose and Orton have to walk together. Ambrose, kiss her when you get to the ring, looking directly towards Randy."

Jon nods. So we did as rehearsal. Randy flipped out, and I knew in the back of my head, that was his real reaction. I took a deep breathe and let it sink in. I went outside the ring as the guys did a little practice. Finally, it ended. Everyone was fine.

I walked with Jon, having to fake around Jane. She smiles to us. He held my hand. "I hate faking this," he whispers. "I understand I still like you; I'll get over it. You and Colby should be happy…"

"I'm going to find a way out of this." I whisper back. "I can't do this."

We walked to Nattie. She smiles. "Hey, look at the… couple." She couldn't find the word, seeing it was us. It's something Nattie shouldn't have to see. We noticed the cameras. "Jon, this is Eva Marie and JoJo." He shook their hands.

Eva had a huge smile. "I'm a huge fan, Jon. I love The Shield." She moved in a bit closer.

Inside, I was chuckling. How cute would it be if Jon moved on with this chick? Maybe then I would finally be over these feelings. I would be able to have a happy relationship with Colby. I was having another feeling. I wanted to bitch slap her and scream he's mine… As if I was able to. If I wasn't in this relationship with Colby, everything would be fine, and I could be seen with Jon with no problems. Right now, I had to fake both parts of my lives.

"You're cute," he whispers. She chuckles. Nattie and I roll our eyes. I gripped his hand tighter, letting Eva know he's mine.

Trinity and Ariane came out in tears. I was in shock when I heard Ariane tell me what happened. Trinity went outside. I couldn't listen to Vince argue, so I helped Trinity calm down. Jon Good tagged along with me.

"I can't stand this," she told me, panicing.

I shook my head, resting my hands on her shoulders. "Everything will be fine, okay? This is all stress over Wrestlemania. Trust me; I've been through this way too many times." She nods. "This is me talking not The Shield's Diva. It's Violet Orton speaking. Wrestlemania is one of the biggest stages, and we're hoping nothing bad happens. It's just rehearsals okay?"

She nods again, noting that she was listening. "I had so many fights with Randy before we did Wrestlemania. Hell, we had a fight backstage. Once we were out there, everything went perfect. It always goes great. Don't stress it. One mistake happened during practices; it's normal." I put her in a hug. "Don't worry. It will go fine."

She gave a nod. "Thanks, Violet. I'll see you tomorrow." I left with Jon. The cameras left us alone. I let go of his hand.

"You know," he speaks up. "You did the right thing, Violet." I said nothing. I didn't feel a need to talk to him. "I know you're pissed at me right now."

"That is the least of your worries." I found the car we traveled in. I saw Colby there. I kissed and hugged him. He asked if everything was fine. "Just the two cheerleaders having drama… Normal shit before Wrestlemania." He laughs. "I hate most of the divas in that room. The cameras are off, so I can stop faking for once."

Jon looks in back of us. "You were nice to Trinity."

"Her and Nattie I respect so much, and the Bellas." I made a shake. "I already see Eva flirting with the guys. JoJo just annoys me already, and Adriane always has drama to start. You would think that would be the Bellas. Nope."

Jon smiles, turning front forward. We got back to the hotel room. Jane broke news to me. I couldn't room with Colby anymore, not while filming went on. I had to go back with Jon. He sighs, "I'll move my stuff. Let's not give her the trouble again."

Colby nods to him. I went back to my room, trying to relax myself. I felt Colby place a hand on me. "I'll see you tomorrow hopefully." I nod, giving him a kiss goodnight.

I went into my room. Jon was lying on the bed. "Violet, I don't want this to keep happening."

I put my hair in a lose bun. "Look, it's not your fault. It just feels like the whole universe is trying to tell me to date you again."

He got up. "There's nothing wrong with that, Violet. Just dump Colby. He's worthless to you, and you know that."

"He's a good guy, Jon…"

"But are you willing to get up everyday and see his face, knowing you don't feel the same?" I duck down. "Admit it, Violet; you love me as much as I love you."

I pushed him against the wall. For a couple minutes, I just stood there with him. I then just lean down and kissed him. After another couple minutes passed by, we went back to the bed. Jon began to remove his shirt; I did the same after a few minutes.

"You're still so beautiful," he traces out my scars and stretch marks. "Violet…"

"Shut up and do it before he realizes…" He nods.

I ended up sleeping with Jon Good for the last time... I woke up the next morning in shock when I felt his arms around me.


	12. Chapter eleven

Chapter eleven

"_Cause Jersey just got colder and I'll have you know I'm scared to death that everything you have said to me was just another lie until you left…" (Jersey; Mayday Parade)_

It was Wrestlemania day. My nerves were practically shot at this point. Matter of the fact was it was not about Wrestlemania. It was about keeping my secret. I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex-boyfriend.

Of course, it was just the one night. The other night has been me just cuddling against Jon. It was not acceptable still. I was seeing Jon… I was cheating on Colby. I keep having panic attacks over it.

I woke up in separate bed for once, worrying that Colby may walk in. I felt a hand on my shoulder, realizing it could be either one. I open my eyes and look up to notice it was Colby. _Oh thank god, I chose not to sleep next to Jon. _ "Hey, I want to see if you wanted to go out for breakfast or something."

"I just want to take a walk." I got up and changed into sweatpants and a Wrestlemania shirt. The cameras weren't focusing on me today for once; It was more on the Bellas. So that means me and Colby can hang out. He took my hand after I put on my sneakers. I had my phone and cigarettes.

We went outside and started walking around the building a bit, staying in the parking lot. We were both silence… As if he found out about me and Jon. I lit a cigarette, still taking laps. "Violet," Colby spoke up. "You seem… off. You're not talking at all. Is everything fine?"

I took a breath out, blowing smoke. "My nerves are shot for tonight."

"Same," he takes a deep breathe in. "I mean, I shouldn't be nervous. I know the results. I know what will happen."

I stopped for a second. I threw my cancer stick down and took both of his hands. I massaged them softly. "You'll be fine, babe."I kissed his cheek. "I promise you."

"I'm also nervous to see that kiss. Randy's reaction is real, but I have to remind poker face." He looks down.

I shook my head, "I'm not going to leave you, Colby, okay? So get that out of your head and just think about tonight."

He gave me a kiss and started to cough. "I don't know how I can kiss you with those cigarette lips."

"I'm not quitting yet."

!

It was time. I went back to my dressing room, knowing my match was first. I changed into a black hoodie with a white t-shirt underneath. I had to keep it zipped down to make it noticeable. I threw on black shorts with tights underneath. I wore combat boots. I look into the mirror and smiled. I found my fingerless gloves and added the finishing touch.

I met back with my make up artist. I felt the cameras behind me as Jon came next to me. I gave him a quick kiss before they put on my makeup. "Nervous, babe?" I said. He shook his head. "Uh-huh."

"I never get nervous; you should know that." He got up in search of the other two. He looked to my artist. "Make her look stunning."

My artist smiles to him. Once he walked away and cameras were off, the artist spoke. "What happened with you and Colby? I saw you guys a couple times this week."

"Total Divas—more like Jane—is demanding me and Jon are together." She rolls her eyes.  
"Ever since I came back, it's been about ruining my life."

She worked on my eyes. "Well good luck with everything," she whispers. I was finished. I went to find the guys. We walked millions of steps as I held Jon's hand. The cameras were following us.

!

We waited a while before we had to go through the crowd. Jon let go of my hand and kisses me before the match. Finally, we were out. "Their opponents, at a combined weight of 707 pounds, accompanied to the ring by Violet Orton." I heard a huge cheer as I step up onto a platform with Dean Ambrose, "Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reigns. The Shield!"

While we were outside the ring, Randy stared me down. I look to the guys and gave Seth and Roman a pat on the back. When I came to Dean, I had to put my arms around his neck and kiss him. Dean's eyes were still opened, staring at Randy. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Randy yells out. Sheamus tries to calm him down, but he was on fire.

I smirked, standing around the ring. Roman and Sheamus started off. After a while, Randy was tagged him. He stared me down before stomping down on Roman. I keep cheering on Roman until he got up and tagged Seth.

"I can deal with this one," Randy yells. "I want Ambrose at a point." Dean just smirked. Randy keep beating up on Seth then tagged in Sheamus. Rollins ended up bringing Sheamus to The Shield's corner, and Dean was tagged in.

Sheamus went to try to tag in Randy, who was ready to kick Ambrose's ass. At a point, I couldn't wait to see this. The wrestling Violet Orton side would have to just keep cheering on and hope for the best for Dean. Then again, there was a part that didn't want to see Jon get beat up. Mixed emotions were going through. I went back to focusing into the match. Big Show ended up tagging himself in. Randy just let it slip by, still wanting Ambrose.

I keep yelling out Ambrose's name and telling him what to do. When Big Show ripped off the protective gear, I started to flip out. "I thought you would like this, Violet," Big Show yells to me.

Randy start to chuckle towards. "Don't get me started on you," I screamed out.

Dean was tagged out. He looked to me and gave me a smile. "I'm fine," he says, watching on Seth. He also began to take off his shirt. I smirked a bit, playing on Dean Ambrose's lover. Rapid tags were made from The Shield's half, pissing off my brother and Sheamus.

After a while of the rapid tags and great teamwork on The Shield's half, Roman tagged in Seth, who kicked Randy out of the ring. He quickly got back up, but I couldn't help but laugh. Randy just keep his eyes focuses on Seth being beat up. Seth tagged in Ambrose, but Sheamus keep beating up on him. The Shield was getting beat up, and for me, in this moment, it was too much to watch.

When Sheamus and Ambrose were outside the ring, Roman tried to help out. Randy came out and began to attack Roman. He then return his attention Ambrose for the little time being. "How does it feel kissing my little sister?" He yells out.

I keep a close eye as I saw Seth knock down Randy. I walk over and gave Randy a huge slap across the face in the meantime. Everyone was in shock as I walked back to my corner. Randy and I, on screen, were always known as a great mixed tag team pair. Right now, part of me wanted to break off from that.

Big Show and Randy got themselves back to the corner. As Sheamus was about to tagged in Big Show, Randy tagged himself him. He finally gets his chance to beat up on Randy Orton's sister's lover, Dean Ambrose. As Randy was about to RKO and finish off Dean Ambrose, Seth got in a way. Randy ended up RKOing him instead. Roman speared him, and Dean covered him being the legal man. The Shield had won.

Dean stood there for a bit, staring down Orton. I came quickly into the ring. I hugged Roman and Seth before they rolled out. I look to Dean. He put me in a hug but lifting me off the ground. I chuckled in his shoulder. I kissed him again. We walked together back to the backstage area.

!

We all landed in our dressing room. "You guys did fucking awesome!"I screamed out. I high fived each of them. Since Total Divas was following us, I gave another kiss to Jon. They left to find the other divas wrestling tonight. I turned to Colby and gave him one big kiss. "You were so good out there. No wonder you were once NXT champion."

Joe chuckles. "I think you were the best, messing with Randy's mind." Jon left to get water.

I look to him, feeling Colby's arms around me. "Well, Randy still hates him for of course obvious reasons." Joe nods, "So it wasn't really messing. He's just pissed off at Jon."

Wrestlemania was done. We waited a while before we left. It was near 12 when we got back. I said goodnight to Colby and kiss him. I could tell he was half awake. I chuckled. "Get some sleep," I kissed him again. I made sure I was near all three. "How about we start a bit later with CrossFit tomorrow? Maybe around 10 instead?"

"Sounds good," Joe said. "Let me take your sleepy boyfriend inside." I chuckled. Jon held the door open for me.

I twirled my hair in my fingers. He kisses me lightly. "You should just break up with him."

"I will," I laid next to him.

He looks down. "Violet, I don't want him hurt."

"Neither do I, Jon."

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"We really shouldn—" He puts his lips around mine.

He smirks, "I really don't want to stop kissing my once forgotten lover."

**A/N: Happy halloween! **


	13. Chapter twevle

Chapter twelve

I woke up again in Jon Good's arms. My alarm went off, warning us we had two hours to get ready. I physically could not move. I felt Jon get up. Footsteps faded into the bathroom. I was still completely out of it. I could hear what was going on around me, but I just didn't want to get up.

I felt a light kiss on my forehead. "Hey, wake up, girl." Jon's raspy voice came into my ears. I shook my head. "Violet, come on."

A knock came on our door. I felt the bed shift. Jon had opened the door. "Hey, you ready?" Silence took over for a few seconds. A couple of foot steps came my way. Colby made a tsking sound. "She did nothing yesterday and is completely passed out."

Joe chuckled. "What did you do to her, Good?"

"Nothing," he whines out. Joe laughed again.

I felt my body being shake. I turn and opened my eyes sightly. Colby smiles. "Well now she's awake."

I wiped my eyes. "Barely,"I groaned out. I had Colby help me up. "I'm so stressed out. My body feels so weird today. I mean I want to try.."

Colby even had to help me stand up. My body was in pain, and he could tell. "She's going back to bed," Colby laid me down. "You're way too pale, and you keep saying your body hurts. I don't want you to get sick or anything. You might have caught something from Jon's kiss." Both Colby and Joe chuckled, but Jon stayed quiet. Colby tucked me back into bed. He gave a kiss on my forehead.

"You're sweet," I whispered out.

Jon was the last to leave, grabbing his phone. He looked to me. "I hope you feel better, Violet." He leans down and kisses me before I fall back to sleep.

!

I woke up to hear the guys coming back. Colby was speaking. "I swear, she's been off lately. It's like since we've been dating really."

"Well," Joe spoke up. "She has a lot on her plate. Coming back to WWE, Jane…"

"Total Divas," Jon spoke up. "Colby, I don't want to be doing this." Silence took over. "Don't you dare fucking roll your eyes. Violet and I are doing nothing!"

"What makes you believe me?" Silence again. I felt my body turn. I look up at Colby. "Hey." I put on my Randy Orton hoodie since I wasn't wearing a bra under my white top. I slip on shoes. I grab my phone and walked past both Jon an Colby. Colby went to reach my arm. "Violet…"

"Leave me alone!" I screamed out. "Yes, I am under a lot of stress, Colby. That's why I'm off. That's why I feel like throwing up. That's why I have trouble sleeping. Colby, I'm over stressed. You talking about me cheating on me with Jon…" I walked out. Jon and I knew the truth, not Colby. We couldn't just do it now.

I went to go to the elevator when I felt someone grab me. I turn, hoping it was not Colby or Jon. I turn to see out of all three… It was Joe. "We'll let them fight their fight. Come here, you need a hug, Violet." I couldn't resist. It was Joe who always gives the best hugs. Once I did fall into his arms, I felt tears come down. "You're stressed."

"At least someone sees it." I choked out. We walked outside since I need to smoke. I took out my pack that I had in this jacket. I found my lighter and lit one. It was only us two. "I just wish they would understand. .."

"Let me just get one thing straight, are you cheating on Colby?"

I froze up, "I rather not answer that."

Joe nods. "You're cheating on Colby then, Violet."

"Are you good at secrets?"

He made a tsking noise. "I mean honestly, I can say, I saw it coming. You're hurting him, Violet. You're better off breaking up with him. End it and continue with Jon."

I threw down my cigarette. "Cause after what Jon did, I can't live a normal life with him. Jon left me, overdosing. I have a hard time to forgiven him. I don't know why I'm doing this. It's more like friends with benefits anyway..."

"Violet," Joe looks into my eyes. "Secret is safe, trust me. Just do one of two things. Break up with Colby or stop with Jon."

"I'll try my best." We went back upstairs. Once we walked into the room, Jon wasn't there, but Colby was.

He got up. He pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Violet." He kisses the top of my head. "I didn't mean any of this. I'm so sorry."

I hugged him right back. "You're fine, Colby." I look at him and gave him a kiss. I gave him a small smile. "Let's go. We have to get our scripts."

!

We ended up running into Jon. We got a room for ourselves. Joe and Colby step out to get our scripts. Joe eyed both of us down before leaving. Jon look to me. "You told him."

I defend myself. "Colby still doesn't know." Jon nods. "I'm so sorry."

Jon duck his head. "Just break up with Colby!" He went out of the room, slamming the door. I sat down on the couch.

Tears were coming out again. I bit my lip, but a whimper escaped. Stress took over again. I quickly felt nauseous again. Anxiety took over, and my chest was pounding. I coughed a couple of times, covering my mouth. I ran out of the room, running past Colby and Joe to the nearest bathroom. I found a stall and started throwing up from the stress. I took a couple deep breathes in, hoping it would past.

Once I thought I was finished throwing up, I came out of the bathroom. Colby and Nattie were standing there. I saw Jane out of the corner of my eye concerned. Colby couldn't be the boyfriend he wanted to be. The cameras were rolling. "Maybe she shouldn't go out tonight," Colby said. "She was saying this morning how she was in pain and was completely pale."

"It's just a promo," Jane said. "She can do it."

I nodded. "It's best to show that I'm sticking with The Shield." Colby keep an arm around me as we walked back into the room. The camera were still rolling, and I wonder why. I laid down on the couch for a while, falling back to sleep. _Just leave me be. _

"We'll give her a break. She can read over the script and then come back." Colby said. "She'll be fine. She came back to WWE with everyone wanting too much from her."

"Okay," I realized the person he was talking to was my older brother. That's why the cameras were still here. "Someone was telling me she was throwing up, and I wanted to make sure she was alright."

"You can stay with her if you want to,"Colby spoke up. "We have to practice of course…"

"I'll do that. Good luck out there, Colby." I turn once I heard the door shut. Randy kissed my forehead. "How are you feeling?"

Once I got up, I shrugged. "I feel a bit better, but honestly, I just want to leave WWE at this point."


End file.
